With the de scenting views on old and some new issues

Although why I have the de scenting views I do not know because I am not the one that smells although I suppose that is because I de scent more than Poppy who does not really smell but needs to take baths anyway because it is what is done. Operation Heavenly Choir did manage to not find out that he was a fraud but it did find us an actual angel which I think is more of a detecting achievement and Ayda agrees, although she does not actually agree per say because I have not discussed this issue with her but I am sure that she will agree when I get around to it. Poppy would understand if she had taken the angel ride that we got but she did not want to because I think she really wanted to believe he was an impostor but really when you are airborne things seem much different.

I have not noticed too much of the blinking people because I have started daydreaming again and can offer no useful comments on the issue. Doctor Lthoth is a nice man and lollipops are good and he should give them out but Poppy if you are reading this I will be very upset if you use the last of that green paint because I was going to paint a landscape!

Wherein I will discuss some old and some new issues

Operation Heavenly Choir is cancelled because Ayda and Weatherby are very gallable young women and think that maybe the angel is real. And this is all because the angel took Ayda flying with him and she was positively impressed. I can fly too and anyway I don't think adults should take young ladies on flight rides but Ayda doesn't have parents to tell her she is not to take candy or rides from strangers. And Weatherby is all impressed because he played his harps to her, which is not to be confused with the illness that you get for being naughty, and Weatherby was very impressed because she likes music almost more than a lot of other things that she likes a lot.
I am not convinced one bit at all and we have discriminating photographs and even if they are a bit blurry it doesn't mean that I will just give up and play imaginary tennis with older students. So even if the operation is officially off, I still think there is a conspiration and I will keep an eye on him.

But now I remember that there are more impressing matters. There is a mysterious eye infection going around. Weatherby says that before you become blind you blink a lot, and I saw a lot of women blinking yesterday and so I have every reason to believe they are soon to grow blind and there is no doubt it's an infection that some evil crook is behind.
I made Retsu cry when I told her and now she thinks she is going blind. I didn't mean to make her cry, I only meant to convince her to see a doctor before it's too late and she is completely blind. And I didn't mean to make fun of her when I told her 'Look, you should go see a doctor' and very fast I told her instead that 'Listen, you should go visit a doctor.'
I also gave her the address of Doctor Lthoth (M.D.) who comes to the school sometimes to cure us and is a very nice doctor and very smart too. He gives you a lollipop when you come to see him. Actually he doesn't really give you a lollipop but I think it's a good idea and I will tell him just that next time I catch another mysterious tropical disease and have to go to him.In fact, I think we have some green paint left so maybe I will catch the disease tomorrow and go see him.

In which you will find confidential information about Clarissa

Clarissa Applederry is very quiet and she's also afraid of a lot of things especially clowns. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with being scared of clowns because some clowns are really crooks in disguise but I think Clarissa is afraid of real clowns not the false clowns that are really secret crooks undercover. It doesn't even look like Clarissa knows anything about crooks or detective things or adventures. Her glasses always slip and she really needs some tape or new glasses. I didn't tell Weatherby but I think Clarissa is maybe poor. We have some poor girls in school but they don't tell us who. They study on scholarships on account of being really smart and wise and things. It's why I thought Weatherby was poor too when we first met because she's real smart about some things. I think that before you can join the school they give you smart tests and the more smarter you are the less you have to pay on account of needing less teachings. Alice Longfellow is probily the richest girl in school.

Oh yes we imitiated Clarissa to our secret club but I was tired so Weatherby did most of the work. Also I am not too sure about this Clarissa because she even almost wanted to not join the club just because Weatherby mentioned slugs.

Which is a more scientific and proper discussion of the nature of the powers that Poppy and I have

I have the power of tasting things from far away, or "teletastingthings" which is just another way of saying tasting things from far away except it is more scientific. You would think this is a blessing but it is really not because I do not just mean that I can taste things I want to but that I can taste everything. Well, everything that I look at anyway. Anyway, one day the girls at school found out and so now I get mobbed in the lunchroom by people trying to get me to tell them what the food tastes like which is a horrible thing to do because the answer is very often "really gross." And then they make me tell them what the mystery meat is even though I do not eat meat because if you can taste anything you look at and look at a cow one day it will put you off your meat and your parents will be cross at you but they will get over it and Poppy will call you a vegetable even though you are a vegetarian.

Poppy is of course a vampire which means among other things that she has to spell "vampire" funny although she says I am just being ignorant. Anyway it means she cannot eat certain things and that is true but sometimes I think that she is not as allergic at night when she is stronger because I have seen her eat a lot of different things when it is late and night and we are hungry and breaking into the kitchen because we missed dinner again. Also, if she should bite me, I am allowed to make her marry any boy I want and I think it may be Horace Fielding or Bosley Manly just so she would have to be named Poppy Manly.

I had an adventure the other day and it was very sad that Poppy could not come but I think she was working on secret detective things or maybe she just had lots of lines to do, I am not sure. But our friend, well, our acquaintance the samurai was going to a samurai battle and some other people were going along because if you go to a battle yourself it is not a battle it is more of a scuffle. So I went along and it was not really like anything I had ever seen on account of I had never seen anything like it. Lots of samurai would come up and swing swords at me and I would get so I would hit them with my yo-yo. Plenty of people were there to make sure that we didn't die but they were only taking care of big wounds so I had some cuts that Poppy had to put iodyne and it was difficult and she says I was like a big baby and she had to sit on me to get me to hold still while she put it on but I think she is exaggerating. But we won the battle and the boss samurai said I had done well and made me one too! But I am still not going to walk around in funny pants and a katana because we have a school uniform and anyway swords are for boys.

Which is where I explain all about our special powers

Apart from being renowned detectives and adventurers Weatherby and I also have some special powers.

Weatherby has the Power of Taste. She can tell what something will taste like before she tastes it. Sometimes her power is strong and sometimes not so strong for example when she says that milk will not taste disgusting sometimes I trust in her special power and try. But it always tastes disgusting so I think maybe her power is weakened from the presence of milk.
Weatherby also has necrolpepsy. It's a special power even if nurse Deveroux insists that it's just an unfortunate condition.

I have the power of Deja-Vu. If you don't know what it means, well it is most certainly your problem because I already explained it.
Besides I am also a vampyr except that I am emmuned to sunlight which is why I can walk in the sun and not completely melt. I can also be seen on photographs and the only reason you can't see me in the photographs that Ayda took is because she is still not very good with the picture taking responsibility.
Garlic kills me which is why I can't eat ANYTHING with garlic. There are a few more foods that would kill me if I so much as tasted them:
Broccoli
Apricots
Fish Fingers
Spinach
Anchovy
Lima Beans
Bread Crust
Any Food with Yellow in it
Brown Food too except Chocolate which I am emmuned to
I am also a little sensible to water so I can't be exposed to a lot of it too often even if Weatherby says I positively smell.

Wherein I explain what happened and where I was

I wasn't kidnapped or I suppose I kind of was but I wasn't really because it was my parents and your parents don't really have to kidnap you because they can just say, "Cecilia, come along now" and you have to go with or you'll be in trouble again. So I wasn't really kidnapped, but I had to go to a wedding which was almost as bad.

The eldest daughter of my mother's favourite cousin had made a mistake and so she was getting married which didn't make any sense to me but my parents wouldn't explain it any. Anyway, she was getting married except she was getting married in Japan because the boy she was marrying was an ambassador which I thought was exciting because I thought that Poppy and I could have lots of adventures and maybe even save the emperor's life which would give us a good excuse for missing the wedding and having to wear dresses that make us look like little girls when we are nearly grown-up. But my mother said, "You are not joined to Emmeline Hughes' daughter at the hip, Cecilia," and no matter now much I said that I knew I was not and that if I was we would not have to go back and get her because she would be attached, they would not turn around and pick up Poppy, and by that time it was too late to leave signs that I had been kidnapped although actually I had not been.

So we traveled to Japan and the wedding wasn't all that bad I suppose but there weren't any samurai there which was kind of disappointing. So anyway, I didn't really get to have any adventures except for this one involving a ghost in the place where we stayed except I could not exercise him on my own and nobody would believe me that he was real. Although in the end it turned out that he was kind of friendly and showed me where to discover some ancient poetry which I thought was kind of nice but I am sure Poppy would not appreciate at all so she will not be getting it. I have gotten her a pretty kimono instead and it will be very good to wear after the baths which she will take now that I am back because I am sure she has not even looked at soap since I have been gone.

Weatherby, if you can read this, leave some clues!

Weatherby is missing and I don't mean she is missing her mummy and crying like a big baby in bed which is what she used to do before we became friends but that's a whole another story. By missing I mean that she disappeared. One morning I woke up and she wasn't there. But really because she wasn't there I didn't really wake up, because Weatherby is in charge of waking me up. So it is more right to say that one day I overslept and got in a lot of trouble and Weatherby wasn't there.
Her bed was perfectly made, but it didn't raise arise my suspicion because her bed is always perfectly made except when she is sleeping in it, and even then she tries not to move too much in her sleep because the sheets would get all wrinkled.
I asked people but nobody knows anything or they are all part of this conspiration and pretending not to know. I am very worried and I didn't even receive a ransom note yet! She'd better not be having exciting adventures without me!

Weatherby, if you are reading this, please leave some clues if they drag you from one place to another. I looked for clues everywhere and found nothing and I don't understand because we said we would leave clues if we were ever kidnapped.

I think it's time to recruit some detective helpers because I have no idea how I will ever be able to find her on my all own.

Operation Heavenly Choir

I finally made Ayda tell me about the second business because my finger turned blue and I didn't want to become dead. Weatherby had to run errands all the time and I got very cross with her and told her that I am not going to repeat everything when she gets back. I apologised afterwards and admitted that maybe I was mean but I was also cross with Theobald because he went to hunt a vampire but not Chara vampire who is scary and unpleasant but we never ever kill her because she is nice. Another vampire. And he wouldn't let me come. So I told him I might have to take away his secret club membership and that I didn't want to come see a stupid vampire anyway, and I wasn't being childish. He was really mean.

There's an angel with no voice but Ayda thinks that maybe he's fake and I agree. We suspect that his wings are fake because real angels are not supposed to walk among us like that, and anyway if I had wings, real wings, I would flap away and fly and not walk at all.

He's defiantly a fake angel and we must expose him because you can't walk around claiming that you are something you're not, like Alice Longfellow claims she's the best archer in school when really it's not true because Weatherby is ten gazillions better and the only reason Longfellow is captain of Archery team is because she is a cow who sucks up to Miss Pangbourn. We are going to follow him all the time until we catch him do something suspicious like taking off his fake wings that Ayda thinks are maybe tied with twine. I'm pretty sure I saw twine.

And we had to decide on a codename and usually it takes us hours to come up with names because Weatherby and I can't ever agree on a good name (hamsters are cute but that doesn't mean that every codename has to evolve a hamster, Weatherby). But this time when I suggested to call it Heavenly Choir Ayda immediately agreed and Weatherby pretended not to care

I teached Ayda how to use a camera and now if we catch him taking off his wings we will take a photograph and give the film to the police because they have juristriction which we do not have. Maybe we will take two photographs and show one to a priest too because priests have juristriction over angels and all things heavenly.

We will have to find a better way to disguise ourselves because the last time we went undercover as bushes bushies bushy Weatherby's pine-cone fell and made a racket and we almost got in serious trouble (because pine-cones do not grow on bushy). We also have to recruit more girls from school because following a fake angel day and night isn't going to be an easy mission.

P.S. Longfellow told Jeff Grimsby that I want to marry Horace Fielding when I grow up. Spreading lies is punishable by revenge.

Wherein I make minor corrections to Poppy's otherwise accurate report

We did discover the hideout of smugglers but it was not smugglers, it was one smuggler and when I saw him I was confused on account of I had been pushed down a hole and landed somewhat roughly and he smelled really really bad and I mean worse than riding lessons bad. Then he attacked me! I fought him off but I was irate with Poppy when I got back particularly since she did not even ask if I was okay or notice that my uniform had been stained in the fall and only was interested in whether or not I had found treasure. Ayda has proved an unvaluable addition to our agency and I think that she is coming along nicely, although I do wish she would come with us and get an education because she is a nice young lady and that is what nice young ladies do according to my parents and Mistress Davies.

I did conduct the ceremony and it was a little scary but only because it HAD TO BE otherwise there would be no order and we would all run around with our underwear on our heads and our hats on our bottoms. Anyway, you should hear the things that Poppy says to me when I am making her take a bath but you'll find she never writes *those* down in our journal, which I suppose is okay because it's not really detecting but still, really. But we got to meet a secret agent! And it was exciting and I only asked the secret agent and Ayda so many questions because you are supposed to ask questions about things, and anyway Poppy asks obvious questions too, like "Why do you smell like you live in a barn, Longfellow?" when the obvious answer is because she's a cow.

Poppy did tie a knot around her finger and that was very brave of her and she almost turned into a vegetable which she does not eat because of the blood circuits being cut off in her brain. Which is why she almost turned into a vegetable, not why she does not eat them. I have marked in our daily planner to ask Ayda again when we see her which is a much safer way of doing these things.

Where Poppy will discuss fierce smugglers and secret agents

We uncovered the hideout of smugglers and deduced through mitaculous meticulous maticulous detective work that they may be using a network of ruthless chickens to transfer very suspect grain! We have to hide behind a bush and observe their hideout day AND night until we have proof. I think Ayda will help us and maybe do the night shift because we can't because of curfew. Oh and the morning shift, when we are in school. Afternoons we have other activities too so Ayda will have to spend most of the day and the night hiding behind a bush.

Ayda Hayes is ever so fortunate!
She doesn't have to go to school. Nobody forces her to attend choir, archery, badminton or even dancing classes. She has no kitchen or laundry duty and she doesn't have to share a dorm with cows like Longfellow. She also gets to hang out with really important adults like the secret agent she brought to the club yesterday. We never had a real secret agent in the club before!!
Weatherby conducted the secret spitting ceremony and Ayda and I agreed that she gets better and better at it every time. This time she was so good that I almost threw up. And I don't mean like when I do kitchen duty. I mean really really throw up. Even the secret agent looked a little pale and she is used to scariness!
After the ceremony Ayda had some secret businesses to discuss with the club and Weatherby was embarrassing because she didn't know what codenames are and we had to explain everything to her and still she didn't understand anything and asked silly questions like can we all have the same codename (of course not!). I hope the secret agent doesn't think that we are two very silly geeses because maybe next time she is on a secret mission and needs detectives she will anoint us! I hope I hope I hope that Weatherby didn't ruin our chances.
There was a second business that Ayda had to discuss but we never got around to it, what with Weatherby wasting so much of our time with her silly questions about codenames. I tied a knot around my finger so I remember to ask Ayda what was the second business but everyone knows that people die from tying knots and stopping the blood sicularity to their brains so I am under a great risk and hope I meet her soon. Weatherby says that once the blood stops reaching your brain, you have exactly 34 seconds before you become a fruit, and then 29 more seconds before you die for good.

A page chronicallying an important adventure

There is a strange hidden temple that you need a special amulet to get inside. And inside it's very dark and eerie and there is strange music playing, and strange smells and strange spirits that tickle your feet. There are also crazy people in there and I can tell they are crazy because they wander around with a blank look in their eyes, like that old woman in town that Ms. Davies said we are never to make fun of because there are people less fortunate.
There is also a statue and if you poke it in the tummy there is a laughter and it's a scary laughter, so I poked and ran far away. There's also a very angry skeleton that pretends it's alive. I know because I went with Theobald and he tried to hit us and Theobald ran away but he wasn't scared or anything, he just wanted to let me adventure so I can show off afterwards to Weatherby who couldn't come with us because she decided that homework is way more important than adventure.

We didn't find any maps to treasures but Ayda got us a dead brown spider that we can use in our Pogrom for Making Weatherby Not So Scared of Spiders because if she's going to keep being so scared of spiders we won't be able to adventure in certain places of adventures. And Ayda and Weatherby had a fight but I made them apologise and hug because we learned about conversation of energy, and we are to converse our energy for cows like Longfellow and not poor sweet orphans like Ayda, who are less fortunate. And I am not going to mention that Ayda has a crush on somebody because we promised not to tell.

Which is where we will write about a few friends

Weatherby is a lot more shy than me and she sometimes gets all flustered. Weatherby also has a fatal condition called necrolpepsy and when she gets it she doesn't just get all flustered but she falls asleep. So I don't really know if she ever makes friends when I'm not around but if she does, she'll add their names here. I know for sure that we both do a jolly good job at making enemies alone and together and we will write about them too but not now.

First and firstly and foremost we met Theobald who likes adventures and lobsters like us (Weatherby doesn't like lobsters but she doesn't mind when I eat them as long as I don't get the food all over school vest). He's the only boy who knows the secret password to our clubhouse. I must say he took it very seriously! He did all the spinning and jumping and leaping required, while sweating rivers and rivers, and Weatherby and I tried hard not to giggle.

Then there is Ayda who is an orphan. Weatherby gets annoyed when I call her that. She says I have an over-developed sense of drama. I think being an orphan is incredible. Ayda's parents are missing. One day they just weren't there. I asked her to try and remember if anything was missing from the house like maybe an old tome of magicks or secrets. She said she wouldn't know. I revealed some basic detecting methods to her and told her to look for less dusty areas on the bookshelves. Anyway we offered Ayda our help in cracking the case of The Missing Parents of Ayda. She doesn't seem very keen so far.

When we found our abandoned church and turned it into a club, Chara the vampire helped us clean up. Chara is always trying to scare us and threatens she will bite us. She also insists that I don't smell like a vampire and I just blame it on Weatherby who forces me to shower all the time. But besides being positively unpleasant and threatening, we like Chara. She gave me alcohol once.

The other day we met a girl a little older than us. Her name is Mamimi. We talked a little while Weatherby was necrolpepsing. We promised not to tell the cops about her and Mamimi also invited us to come and smoke with her under the bridge some day. I told her about the club and she sounded really excited. I hope Weatherby would let her smoke in there. Aren't older girls awesome??

Which is where I will explain how we came by invisible ink

This is a very magical ink. It's nothing like the ink we get at the shop of old Scroons in town, like that one time when Longfellow needed to be taught a lesson and we got the blue ink and put it in her shower tap and then pretended to be asleep and giggled under our blankets when she started howling at the mirror.
This ink is different. It came from a great adventure and I will write all about it another time because I just realized I was late for choir and I'm already in too much trouble and they already know I fake throwing up in kitchen duty.

This is the journal of Poppy Hughes and Cecilia Weatherby

Where being as we are currently engaged as students at the Honora Davies School for Young Ladies and being as the Honora Davies School for Young Ladies is a very select institution that could have us on the train home the instant we step another toe out of line and being as we were reminded of this on Tuesday by Miss Honora Davies of the Honora Davies School for Young Ladies and given three days dishwashing duty and being as Alice Longfellow is watching me write this from across the common room this instant and being as I know she will go and tell Mistress Richtersen at the first opportunity she gets as she is a rotten snitch and a cow as well and should not be captain of the archery team we are going to write this in invisible ink. Also because that's what adventurers do. And also because we are entitled to our secrets. And also because if Miss Poppy Hughes wants to add anything more she can do it herself, and yes she can I am handing you this book, Poppy this very instant.