Which is a more scientific and proper discussion of the nature of the powers that Poppy and I have

I have the power of tasting things from far away, or "teletastingthings" which is just another way of saying tasting things from far away except it is more scientific. You would think this is a blessing but it is really not because I do not just mean that I can taste things I want to but that I can taste everything. Well, everything that I look at anyway. Anyway, one day the girls at school found out and so now I get mobbed in the lunchroom by people trying to get me to tell them what the food tastes like which is a horrible thing to do because the answer is very often "really gross." And then they make me tell them what the mystery meat is even though I do not eat meat because if you can taste anything you look at and look at a cow one day it will put you off your meat and your parents will be cross at you but they will get over it and Poppy will call you a vegetable even though you are a vegetarian.

Poppy is of course a vampire which means among other things that she has to spell "vampire" funny although she says I am just being ignorant. Anyway it means she cannot eat certain things and that is true but sometimes I think that she is not as allergic at night when she is stronger because I have seen her eat a lot of different things when it is late and night and we are hungry and breaking into the kitchen because we missed dinner again. Also, if she should bite me, I am allowed to make her marry any boy I want and I think it may be Horace Fielding or Bosley Manly just so she would have to be named Poppy Manly.

I had an adventure the other day and it was very sad that Poppy could not come but I think she was working on secret detective things or maybe she just had lots of lines to do, I am not sure. But our friend, well, our acquaintance the samurai was going to a samurai battle and some other people were going along because if you go to a battle yourself it is not a battle it is more of a scuffle. So I went along and it was not really like anything I had ever seen on account of I had never seen anything like it. Lots of samurai would come up and swing swords at me and I would get so I would hit them with my yo-yo. Plenty of people were there to make sure that we didn't die but they were only taking care of big wounds so I had some cuts that Poppy had to put iodyne and it was difficult and she says I was like a big baby and she had to sit on me to get me to hold still while she put it on but I think she is exaggerating. But we won the battle and the boss samurai said I had done well and made me one too! But I am still not going to walk around in funny pants and a katana because we have a school uniform and anyway swords are for boys.